Wait for years until he departs from his wife. Live from meeting to meeting. Substitutes grab the family and normalcy. The role of the mistress is difficult and risky. And although ensure that they want to have a family and children, is still agree to play the role of the party. Why? Eve at the age of 29 she was convinced that nothing in her life is not surprised. Had stabilized in the editorial position of one of the letters.Planning a wedding with her boyfriend, with whom she was 4 years old, a colleague from the editorial, a computer graphic designer. They bought the home, and eventually be able to live together. Talked for hours, which will make the table, and where the bookcase. Her life crashed arranged in one day, when she met Paul - after a good debut, director of the documentary. Arranged an interview with him. They talked as if they knew each other for years. The next day he invited her to dinner, they went to bed and then began to meet, usually in a studio apartment rented by it. For him, the boy left. After a month has still not invited her to his home. In the end she asked him where he lives. Replied that he and his wife that their love is burned, it actually pass each other in the hallway, that separation is only a matter of time. - He knew how to approach me. He said he had a great understand that if I go, but would like us not wasted our friendship. I gave no advice to get up and leave. Agreed on the kind of friendly meetings, which always ended up in bed. And suddenly I woke up in the role of a lover - says Ewa , psychologist and sexologist, there is no doubt the most mistresses are women who are afraid of intimacy. Have a negative experience, either from previous relationships, or learned from childhood. If brought up in families where the parents are still quarreling, violence, or was one of the parents was absent in adult life are afraid to enter into permanent relationships, so as not to duplicate this pattern. At the same time unrealized need for closeness, affection and sex.
- Being a lover can be implemented without incurring liability, enter into a deep relationship and true intimacy. Often only therapy can help us understand the choices and exit the triangle or not to enter into another. Separation, which is not forthcoming Paul continues to promise that the divorce is only a matter of time, but this time not coming. They have no children, but explained that he wanted to prepare her for the separation. And Eve wanted to believe it. If I did not love, then why to me was, after all this is some terribly difficult, and combining these constant lies. I'm entered in the phone as Edwin. Once I called to him, I immediately hung up and gasped when received. I imagined, as he says her that she must be up garbage and converges on the stairs admits that often comes to betrayal, when there were some shortcomings in relation to - stagnation or burnout. In the mistress satisfies her emotional and sexual needs. This does not mean, however, that leave his family. Eve dreams of the simplest things that could make it to your friends, meet with family or go hand to stop the street and have to hide that spending the holidays together and are going on vacation. Instead, it continued uncertainty. - I miss him terribly, and each time I am afraid that no longer meet. I hate holidays, because then I can see how to lose in that direction. I do not think had left me. I know that he was also becoming more involved - says Ewa. Never was curious how it looks and what is his wife. Once she met them on the street. She saw how she looked at him with devotion and love. Pretty, petite, short blonde cut down. Even thought that perhaps it is nice and in other circumstances might like it. - I felt sorry for her, but I too have a right to fight for his love. Why is her happiness would be more important than mine? For coincidence appeared first in his life? - Asks Eve. It seemed that everything is already established. He told his wife that he wants separation, it must reflect on their lives. In the end they could live together. Were wandering plans for holidays and rest of his life. And then it turned out that his wife is pregnant. He explained that he did not want this child, that he did not plan that fell, though assured that it does not sleep with him. He said that he still has time to rethink everything and went with my wife on vacation. She dreamed Italy, and he agreed. Eve first night she could not sleep. Wake up every moment. He wonders what they were doing all day together. A hundred times during those two weeks imagined, as he says, he's leaving. And he returned, he brought her a silver bracelet, a hug, and she again did not have the strength to break up with him. Waiting again. Natalia was able to leave after 13 years of living with her lover saying that there were good moments. But when I do from today's perspective the account of those years, I see that I lost a lot of time waiting for something that never was to come - he says. Affair as a low-cost Harlekin She knew that her boss likes. He was a good lawyer in one of the biggest transport companies in the region in a small town, a big house, two cars. Natalia does not conceal that and it did this impression. Was his right hand, not once stretched the company out of trouble. Often stayed after hours to discuss further plans for the boss. Liked to have been the "you". Then there was the business trip, alcohol, jokes, pick-up and found themselves in bed.
- Banal, even Harlekin is not suitable - Natalia ironic. But two days later he sent her flowers to the house, invited to dinner. None of her previous boyfriends did not survive so elegant. He made an impression. He told how he is not arranged in a marriage that has long been living side by side. Again found themselves in bed. She was 27 years old, he 14 years more. I'm raised in a Catholic family where the mother repeatedly stated that it is just like sex with her husband. And I landed in bed for a married guy. I do not know how it happened. If I had lost the will and morality. I could not prevail over this - says Natalia. Met regularly in an apartment Natalia. After a year she asked, what will become of their relationship. Asked to give him more time. Agreed. Suspected that the work began to chatter in the corners. Sensitive to the condemning, mocking, and sometimes full of miserable looking girlfriends. Or maybe you just persuaded that everyone looking at her. Stopped to talk with anyone from the company. I do not know if they knew. We were very careful: do not work any sensitivity, no familiarity is not even looked at him. But I was with this very hard. I felt a moment of the splitting of the self goes to. It was a madness. I had to go there, so do not go crazy - says Natalia. When she told him that she wanted to release, did not stop her. He admitted that it would be better. He promised that it will maintain until the find a new job. After two months, recruited to the bank. She came back to talk about their relationship. He said that he does not love his wife sleeping in separate bedrooms, but can not leave the child. Son was 14 years old and lived through a period of rebellion, he returned drunk. Daughter was 8 and was a daddy's eye in the head. Asked to give him a moment of time, the son went to the ground, and a daughter grown up enough to understand it. He was afraid that he will lose the children. We note that most women do not realize the causes as his mistress. Most of them said that it wants a permanent relationship that they expect that he departs from his wife, but after a number of free men.
- If someone really wanted to create a family, it would not be for years to married men. In a sense, this role is responsible to them. He comes once or twice a week, it satisfies the needs and disappears. At the same time does not affect their area. Had he stood in the door with suitcases, it could prove that this is a problem. Often when this happens, the relationship falls apart . Substitutes for family . Rented a larger apartment on the outskirts of the city, which was more and more of his stuff. He suggested that it would be maintained. Fell two or three times a week, sometimes stayed the whole weekend. Natalia guess that makes up conferences and business meetings. In total, we had a fairly stable life. I think his wife guessed that someone has, but as long as the money, and he brought up her children was more convenient to pretend that nothing happened - says Natalya. Harder he went, when they wanted to leave the joint holiday. They succeeded once, did not ask what a lie invented. They went to Barcelona. Another substitute for normality. The holidays left for parents who live in the countryside, so it was not alone. I always converts the same subject, when she will have a boyfriend, children and family. And she still answered them that it would come there's still time. While time passed. One day he phoned to say that he could not come because his wife is seriously ill in hospital.