Rarely, we think that the source of violence in the world is violence against each other. When it starts? How to turn the Self-acceptance? It happens many times a day. I use violence against each other every time I tell myself: you have to do it, just have to! When you smile at someone who does not arouse my sympathy.When I drink a third cup of coffee, so to revive, although I know that coffee harms me. When you agree to another meeting, though the body for a long time makes me know it was time to rest. When you eat too much, then I can not move and prospered. When working in the chaos and mess, because again I did not have time clean up. When you drink one glass of wine too much. When ...
I remember this interview. Wise, an extraordinary woman who told me that every day (each!) Renews the data itself many years ago, a promise: that it will use violence against each other.
Crazy voice gives
We are intelligent, educated women in their thirties, a person of public trust - Agata, editor of the weekly, doctors specializing in acupuncture, and Viola, an actress. One of the nearly 20 years she bore her husband's betrayal, the second husband, a third of his body wounds. Shief executive of Women's Rights Center, told me that we succumb to the myth, that the violence against women concerned only low-educated women, with pathological families. Violence against each other also has to be impossible for education and professional positions. Violence against women and violence against women themselves are like twin sisters.
- How can you not like each other to reconcile the many years and betrayal of a man? - Agata says, three years after the divorce. Aneta can not forgive the wasted years of carrying the drunken husband. Viola still applies only known way to reassure himself: a thick needle sticks to the inside of the thigh and rotates it until the blood flow to the wound. But he already knows: "It's not out of love for each other." Somewhere within us speaks a crazy voice, which we believe, and follow him. We call each other differently, there inventiveness knows no bounds: the fish cold, lazy cow, pig fat, drudge, rush with which you whip. Hal and Sidra Stone in the book "inner critic" give examples of other common votes in the us are inherently ugly and nothing you do not do this. You can not love. You egotist. You are despicable. You are fundamentally broken. You are fallen. Aging. You do not have imagination. No one wants. You should not say this. If you do not work twice as much as others do not achieve anything. However, the most difficult in my opinion, is quiet, seemingly innocent "I am not." How to love and respect someone who is not? Did I already? Agata read my diary excerpts. "June 12. Adam came back from Thailand, nervously ran an HIV test. Dry ratio, if the matter did not concern me, surprised. Oh, here already a bit emotional. "August 18. I came back earlier than we have in our bed, he and three young blondes, big, firm breasts, as well as the covers of men's magazines, not even . I went to the bathroom, turned on the tap water, took off my skirt, blouse, went into the tub and began to sob, but somehow so strangely like a child, no tears. " December 5. I found e-mails from his mistress. Threatened that if he did not come to her for Christmas to Hanover (to Hanover! "), She does something wrong. God, what I am poor, how miserable. " And the worst. Agata reads a fragment of 12 April: "I found out that Adam met the 17-year-old daughter of our friends. What shall I do? ". What am I, poor thing, can I do? - Mocking that direction myself years ago. - It occurred to me that I could, for example, begin to cry, to tell someone to leave, apply for divorce. Why not come to me to mind? Because I felt guilty. That is me. Can a man tells an attractive woman? The more women he had, that I felt worse, more and more dead. I explained myself that it is so, such is sexual needs. And my feelings? I do not know what I feel. I felt nothing! It was only later I discovered the awful shame on me.