State of falling in love shows the way to true love: we are committed, feel joyful, supporting, caring, talking syntax, with all my heart. This glimmer of light. Directory. But the true love we feel threatening and dangerous, because such love does not expect anything in return. Almost enough of itself. We are full and happy, because we love.
This is what is our partner, there is nothing to the point: it is what it is, perfect in its imperfection. We experience love without pain, joy. True love has no negative aspect . We all know we live peacefully, when suddenly falls in love. Days go by as if in a trance. Sleepless nights are so sweet and so full of anguish. Alternate ecstasy and thoughtfulness. Forget about the daily duties. Lose keys and umbrellas. Get off at this stop is not the right thing. Hours listening to music, which he loved. Drawn to commemorate what she said. Her smile, his raised eyebrows, touched, hugged, kissed. His slightest gesture stops the heart in his chest. Her eyes give you a head rush. We're crazy, talking about nonsense, stroll to the sunrise, the animal to deal with the deepest secrets. Hugs. Kiss. Those chills. It's ecstasy. Lovers say: "The whole world stood on its head." "When I call him, like a fever." "Think of it became an obsession." Delight and admiration, suffering and anguish in one. Took possession of us as if irrational, independent of the will to power, power that can not be either to restrain or subdue. We dream of such love. It created about her poems, songs and movies. In a state of euphoric dream about falling in love with the dress, veil and happiness to the grave. Some of us are willing to kill even if she or he should go and deprive of hope for the salvation of love. Films about romantic love happy end that end: to love and were married. Begs the question: what next? What happens after the subtitles? When the tide drops falling in love (which is inevitable), we face a choice - either looking for the next wave, or stop with the question: what I learned from this irrational force that afflicted me? What's going on? What does it mean to love? When the tide drops falling in love, confronted with what is in us and in the partner hard, dark and unbearable, you do not want, what we disagree with what they do not wish. This is not supposed to be so. She seemed to be different. He pretended to be. Increasingly, we are disappointed. More and more disappointment leads to frustration. Why it is not so, if I wanted? Why is it I do not understand? True love seems to us the terrible and dangerous, because such love does not expect anything in return. Almost enough of itself. We are full and happy, because we love. This is what is our partner, there is nothing to the point: it is what it is, perfect in its imperfection. Bert Hellinger, a prominent German psychotherapist, speaks and writes that a happy relationship more easily. It begins with a look into the eyes of a beloved person and one small word "yes", yes, I agree to you, you are most appropriate for me, you are most suitable for me. Many authors - psychologists, therapists and spiritual teachers - writes about relationships in this very aspect: what is the quality of our love? Is it love wheat, selfish, full of expectations and focused on taking? Is love a liberating, joyful, focused on giving?
Love, "taking" will never be happy because they are constantly waiting for something, is insatiable, ever-hungry. Has a negative page: possessiveness, jealousy, lust for power, remote and silent resentment, the need for putting on their own, insensitivity, request manipulation, a willingness to rolling settlement, criticizing, judging, blaming, anger, rage. These indicate strong feelings about dependency, compulsive addiction: a beloved acts like a drug. When you leave, there is despair, and even hostility eat. Love tenderness at one moment turns into a savage bitterness. Where is the love then? What happened to her? Can you love someone and hate him for a moment? What else can I give you? True love does not ask: "What do I get?" - Writes in his excellent book "The union" Neale Donald Walsch. True love does not set conditions. Is focused on self-giving and support. The human soul can not be happy if it is in any way hampered. True love says, "I choose for you what you choose for themselves." If you impose anything, I do not love you, but myself, because I get from you what I want, rather than take care of it, you got what you want.
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